Misplaced Expectations
by Lorelai Anastasia
Summary: Fifteen years ago, the Curtis family was forced to give up their baby daughter. Now, New York heiress Mia de Barbarac is about to meet her birth family for the first time.
1. Start of a Journey

A/N: This little story has been in my head so long I just had to write it. Hope you all like it! Basic summary: The Curtis family had a daughter named Mia. Born between Sodapop and Ponyboy, the family had fallen on such hard times financially that they'd had to give their baby daughter up. Now, fifteen years later, she's about to meet her birth family for the very first time.

Disclaimer: The Outsiders and all related belong to S.E. Hinton. I only own Mia, Kelsey, and any other OCs that may come up.

Chapter One

The sunlight fell in shafts over my bed, waking me up, just like it did each and every morning. I stretched out in the Egyptian cotton sheets, then suddenly sat up. This was it. The day I'd been waiting for all my life. It was a wonder I'd slept at all, especially since I rarely sleep well anymore.

I sat down at the dressing table in my New York City apartment, picking up my brush to fix my hair. Tilting my head to one side, I surveyed my looks, trying to see myself like an outsider would. Dark brown hair to my shoulders, wide blue eyes with long black lashes, slightly pale porcelain skin that never tanned well- did these traits make me pretty? I've never been sure. But looking at my reflection often did make me think about my birth family, and whether or not I looked like them. Of course, I was thinking about that more than usual on this particular morning.

For, you see, I've never met any of my relatives. Not one. From what I know, I was given up for adoption when I was a few months old, in the city of Tulsa, Oklahoma. I did have a first name, Mia, but my last name was given to me when I was adopted six months later by a widowed Manhatten socialite named Risa de Barbarac, turning me into Mia Victoria de Barbarac.

I'm not entirely sure, to this day why Risa wanted to adopt me, or anyone for that matter. For companionship, probably. She was around forty-five when I came to her, widowed already and childless, wanting a little girl to raise and to inherit the de Barbarac money. I loved her so very much, and losing her to cancer five months ago had been more painful than I had ever thought possible, even though we knew it was coming.

Shaking myself out of my reverie, I tried in vain to do something with my masses of very thick hair, but it was no use. I needed a professional- someone expert at managing chaos.

"Kelsey!" I called out, trying now to work a comb through the tangles. "Kelsey, emergency hair situation, I'm in dire need of your help!" I resisted the urge to ring the small bell on the table next to me, since Kelsey doesn't like being summoned that way. I can't imagine why. None of my other staff minds it a bit.

The heavy mahogany door to my dressing room opened to admit my ladies' maid. Kelsey was in her late twenties, a cheery woman of Irish descent with sparkling black hair and eyes. She'd been my personal maid since I was twelve, and probably knew me better than anyone in the world.

Clicking her tongue at the mess on top of my head, Kelsey crossed the room, picked up my comb, and started gently working through the knots.

"Miss Mia, how on earth does this happen, just in your sleep? Honestly, I've enough to do with all your packing before we leave."

I rolled my eyes and settled back into my chair, wincing slightly at the tugging at my scalp.

"Big day for you, isn't it?" Kelsey continued as she started to brush my now untangled hair. "Are you nervous, at all? You needn't be. I'm sure they'll love you."

I remained silent, fiddling with the tray of nail polish. Of course I was nervous. Scared stiff, actually, if you want the truth. Who wouldn't be, flying off to Tulsa to meet their birth family for the first time?

The phone call first came two months ago. I was moping around my new Madison Avenue penthouse, desolate after Risa's death. I'd moved out of our old apartment, though technically I still owned it. I couldn't take constantly being surrounded by the memories anymore, and I thought maybe a fresh start would do the trick. It didn't. I had, at fifteen, lost the only family I had ever known. Because of who my family was, it was easy for me to obtain the status of an emancipated minor. I had an excellent staff, after all- everyone knew I would be well looked after.

But then my former social worker called, to tell me my birth parents had died that morning in a car accident. When I heard that, a whole other part of me shattered. All my life I had wanted to get to know my birth family, find out who and where I came from. Now it was too late. I would never know.

That, however, was not the end of it. I had brothers, I learned- two older, one younger. They wanted to meet me. Did I, the social worker asked, want to meet them? And I leapt at the chance. I had waited so long for this, exactly this.

So after nearly eight weeks of planning, three letters, and one phone call, the day had arrived. My flight was booked for two that afternoon, due to arrive in Tulsa at five-thirty. I would be traveling with Kelsey, and we would take a cab to our hotel downtown before I would meet them at their house for dinner at seven.

"What if they don't like me?" I whispered, forgetting Kelsey was still in the room. She paused in her brushing and dropped a kiss on top of my head.

"I told you before, Miss Mia, they're going to love you. Now stand up, we still need to figure out what you're going to wear today."

"How on earth do I figure that out?" I demanded. "This isn't an occasion that we've learned how to dress for at school, you know."

"Perhaps they'll cover that next semester," Kelsey said dryly. She didn't need to say anything more- her disapproval of my attending the Selwyn School for Girls was well known. Kelsey always had expected more from me academically than anyone else, and had no idea why Risa had insisted on my attending a finishing school, rather than a more academic one.

But I was in no mood for her remarks on my upbringing that morning.

"That will be all, Kelsey," I said sharply, standing up. Kelsey left the room, shutting the door behind her rather more forcefully than was needed.

With a sigh, I opened one of the large wardrobes that lined the walls of my dressing room and started methodically flicking through the racks of clothes.

A/N: I know it was short, but it was more of a prologue than anything; the real story is still to come. Please review; opinions are most wanted, and I want to know if the story's worth continuing.


	2. First Meeting

A/N: And we're back for chapter two! Thanks so much to all who reviewed. Please keep it up- I want and need all your opinions!

Chapter Two

By six-thirty that evening, I was nearly ready to go. Kelsey and I had had just enough time to check into our suite of rooms at the Grand Derby hotel, the best in Tulsa, according to our travel agent, and get me all freshened up.

"Outfit check," I said at last to Kelsey, twirling around so she could get the full view. If anyone could spot a loose thread or the smallest tear, it was Kelsey.

After carefully surveying my dark pink tweed skirt, black cashmere sweater, pink coat, and black pumps, my maid gave me a slight smile.

"You're all ready, Miss Mia. Now, are you quite sure you don't want me to go with you, or at least simply accompany you on the drive over?"

I stifled a sigh. "Yes, I'm sure. Relax, Kelsey. Everything's going to be fine. I don't want to give these people the impression I can't take care of myself."

Kelsey raised her eyebrows at that, but did not reply except to hand me my makeup bag so I could finish getting ready. After about ten minutes, she said at last, "There is one more thing I'd like to tell you, miss."

"What's that?" I said absently as I tried to apply mascara without smearing it, a technique I've never mastered.

Kelsey paused a moment before continuing. "I need you to promise me you'll keep an open mind with these people. I asked the concierge about the address they gave us, and he's informed me it's not- well- not in the best part of the city. Their lifestyle is probably very different from what you're accustomed to."

"How on earth could you think that of me?" I demanded, surprised and a little hurt, although I was determined not to show it.

Kelsey shook her head. "I don't, Miss Mia. I don't. You misunderstand me. I've seen you before when you're in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people. You tend to act very reserved and very cold, probably without meaning to. I know that you're scared. But for your sake and theirs-"

"Thank you, Kelsey, that will do," I interrupted, a touch of ice in my voice. I capped the mascara and slammed it down on the table before going out to our suite's balcony for some air.

I leaned against the railing in the chilly breeze, letting my thoughts drift moodily. I didn't care a whit about the money. I knew my brothers probably weren't wealthy. I _knew_ that. After all, well-off families don't give up their baby daughters. But then, who did? They obviously kept those three boys. What had made me different?

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and without looking up knew Kelsey had come to join me.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" she said softly, nodding towards downtown Tulsa's nighttime skyline. We had always watched the night sky together when we traveled. Risa used to join us, and we'd- no. I wasn't going there. It would do no good to think about Risa.

"Yes, it is." I paused, swallowing something hard and painful in my throat.

Kelsey seemed to know what I was thinking. She often did. Taking a handkerchief out of her pocket, she blotted my tears delicately, so as not to smear my mascara.

"No tears now, miss. You don't want to greet your brothers with red-rimmed eyes and a swollen nose, do you?"

I managed a smile, and got myself under control. Beneath the suppressed sorrow I could feel a spark of excitement returning. I had looked forward to this day all my life, and I was determined to enjoy myself.

Ten minutes later I was climbing into the backseat of the car I had asked the concierge to order, a Rolls driven by a chauffer with a strong German accent. Nerves were beginning to make fairly sizeable butterflies in my stomach, so I remained mute, staring out the window as the car left the upscale downtown area behind and drove through different streets- much rougher than I'd ever seen in my life.

The farther we got from the hotel, the smaller the houses grew. Well-manicured lawns were replaced by small dirt yards enclosed behind chain-link fences. Chipped shutters and peeling paint adorned every house. It was a world very far removed from the privileged elegant scenes of my childhood. I could not imagine growing up here.

Eventually the car pulled up to a stop, in front of the smallest, shabbiest house I had ever seen. When I tried to reach for the door handle and climb out of the car, I was so paralyzed with nerves that I could not move for several minutes.

Then I opened up the silver locket that I always kept around my neck. With my initials engraved on the outside and a picture of Risa inside, it had been a gift from her on my fifteenth birthday- the last we'd had together.

I pressed my lips together and smoothed my hair one last time. No matter what or who I was going to meet with tonight, I was going to enter that door with my head held high. I would make Risa proud. I would be a de Barbarac.

The chauffer opened my car door, extending one hand to help me out of the Rolls. Numbly I hopped out and clumsily undid the latch of the chain-link gate. Walking up the short path I hesitated briefly, then reached up and rang the bell.

The door opened to reveal a very tall, very muscular young man. I guessed him to be twenty, possibly less. Dressed in jeans and a tight-fitting black shirt, he stared at me for a moment, and I stared back. _That's my brother. _Oh, my. Then he smiled, a light reaching his ice-blue eyes.

"Hello," he said quietly, extending one hand to me. "I'm Darrel Curtis, Jr. And we're very glad to meet you."

I took his hand and shook it, the act feeling strangely solemn. "I'm very pleased to meet you, Darrel. My name is Mia de Barbarac."

"Mia," Darrel repeated softly. "Call me Darry. Come in, come in and meet Soda and Pony." He opened the door wider, and without further ado ushered me inside to what I guessed was the living room.

My eyes immediately fixed on the two other boys in the room. The taller, and, I presumed, older, grinned at me and stepped forward to introduce himself. With golden blond hair, longer than the boys in New York wore it, and dark brown eyes, he was one of the handsomest boys I'd ever laid eyes on.

"Hey, Mia, I'm Sodapop," he said, shaking my hand enthusiastically. "You know, your other big brother. How are you? How was your flight? How was-"

"Easy, Soda," Darry interrupted. "Give her a chance to breathe." Soda grinned at me, and I found that I liked him already.

The other boy stepped closer to stand next to Soda. With reddish brown hair and gray eyes, he bore a strong resemblance to his brothers- our brothers. _Well, there's an unnerving thought. _

"Hi, Mia. I'm Ponyboy," he said shyly, shaking hands with me. I could tell he was the quietest of the three, but there was something in his eyes that told me we were going to be fast friends. He surprised me by saying next, "I was- we were all sorry to hear about your loss."

My throat felt a little tight, but I was very pleased by the reference to Risa, and replied, "As I was of yours."

Ponyboy nodded, and I could tell he was pleased too.

Darry cleared his throat. "Do you, um…have any questions? About, you know, anything?" Any questions? _Only about a thousand_.

My finishing school training won out, however, and I merely said, " I do, yes, but they can wait. Let's just talk now, and get to know one another."

That over, the four of us stood there rather awkwardly, until Soda guided us all over to the sofa and we all sat. This gave me a chance to look over the room properly. It was fairly shabby, of course, like the outside of the house. Deep cracks in the ceiling, worn furniture. But there was something deeply homey about the place, from the cluster of framed photographs atop the chipped piano to the pile of tennis shoes by the front door. I wondered if my birth parents' pictures were among the photos, and hoped I'd get to see them if they were. Much to my surprise, I felt comfortable here.

A/N: I know, another short chapter. But the dinner party scene is quite long, and as I am not quite finished with it, I thought I'd post this much now. Please review, so that I know people would like to read more of this.


	3. Dinner Party

Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Outsiders.

A/N: Here we are with the third chapter…please review!

Chapter Three

When we were all sitting at the dinner table, serving ourselves baked chicken, mashed potatoes, and biscuits, conversation grew more relaxed. I felt myself already warming to these three. _Maybe they'll feel like family someday after all. Just maybe._

"So where in New York do you live, anyway?" asked Soda as he heaped more potatoes on my plate.

"In Manhatten. I grew up on Forty-Second Street, near Times Square, but I live on Madison Avenue now," I replied as I tasted the chicken. When I did, I couldn't believe my taste buds. "This is incredible!"

Pony grinned. "Darry made it."

I stared at my oldest brother. "Did you seriously?" He nodded. I took another bite, very impressed. My cook back home wasn't this good. It struck me suddenly that this was probably an old family recipe. I wondered if I could get a copy.

"And who do you live with now?" Darry asked, passing around the platter of biscuits. "The social worker said you live alone, but that can't be right."

"Of course not," I said, surprised. "I have a maid and butler who live-in and a housekeeper and cook there during the day."

Darry and Soda exchanged a look that I couldn't quite read.

"Right," said Darry slowly, "but who, you know, takes care of you?"

_Uh-oh. _I'd hoped I wouldn't have to handle these questions for awhile. "Well, I do. I'm fifteen, after all." Darry frowned and looked like he was about to say something else, but before he had the chance, Ponyboy leapt in with a question of his own.

"So do you go to a lot of Broadway shows and museums and everything?"

I nodded, taking another sip of chocolate milk. Odd to serve with dinner, but perhaps it was an Oklahoma thing.

"Risa loved the theatre. We always went to lots of shows. I've always preferred the ballet, though, so we attended that a lot as well." I tilted my head, surveying Ponyboy's amazed expression. I grinned at him. "You want to travel, don't you?"

"More than anything," replied Ponyboy fervently.

"Then when you visit me in New York, I'll make sure you see absolutely everything," I said, surprising myself slightly. None of us had mentioned another visit yet, but I found that I really wanted one. Ponyboy smiled at me and nodded. I knew he wanted another visit too.

Conversation flowed very well through the rest of dinner, right through to dessert. We went back to the living room, and Soda brought out a chocolate cake and began handing out pieces. I absolutely love chocolate cake, and was surprised to see that, apparently, it ran in the family. Darry also made some coffee, which only he and I drank.

We were chatting about Ponyboy's track team when the front door banged open, admitting one of the toughest-looking men I've ever seen in my life. Wearing jeans and a leather jacket, he had white-blond hair and the coldest blue eyes imaginable. He shut the door behind him and lit up a cigarette.

I glanced uneasily at the boys, not sure what to do or say. If anyone looking like that had come into my apartment, I would have summoned security immediately, but going by the lack of alarm on the Curtises' faces, I guessed that they probably knew this hoodlum.

This guess was validated nearly at once by Sodapop.

"Hey, Dal," he said cheerfully. "What's going on, buddy?"

"Had to leave a party at Buck's. Sylvia wouldn't leave me alone, couldn't take it anymore." He paused and, seeing me for the first time, stared. "Who's the fancy broad?"

I was slightly irritated at being spoken of like that- certainly it had never happened before- but merely raised my eyebrows at Darry, waiting for him to make the introductions, which he did when Soda stopped laughing. Even Ponyboy was grinning.

Gesturing to me, Darry said, "Dally, this is our sister, Mia de Barbarac. Mia, this is Dallas Winston, a real good friend of ours."

"Pleased to meet you, Dallas," I replied, in a way I hoped was gracious.

Dallas said nothing to me, but looked me over and then turned to Soda. "You never told me your sister was a Soc, man."

"I'm not," I said, confused. "I'm a de Barbarac." This caused Soda and Ponyboy to start laughing again, for some reason. I continued, "The de Barbaracs are related to the Boston branch of the Soche family, though, so I suppose that's what-"

"Is she being a smart-ass on purpose?" Dallas interrupted, speaking once more to my brothers instead of to me. I just sat there, half furious and half startled. People don't swear in front of me usually. It actually made kind of a nice change, having people behave naturally, rather than the stilted manners of New York's upper class.

Soda explained to me, "He means Soc as in Social, Mia. The rich kids from the West Side here. We call them Socs. The kids around here, and us too, we're greasers. The Socs and the greasers…um, they don't get along very well."

Dallas snorted and took a long drag on his cigarette. "Well, there's the understatement of the century."

"It's all the Socs' fault," Ponyboy told me. "They're just cold-blooded mean."

"Okay," I said slowly. This was all new to me. Then something hit me for the first time:

"And you thought I was one of them?" I said indignantly to Dallas. "Thanks a lot!"

"Can't help it, doll," Dallas shrugged. "Girls don't dress that way over here. And I'm bettin' the fancy car and driver out front are yours too?"

"Just because she has money," Soda interrupted suddenly, "doesn't make her a Soc, Dally. She's a Curtis, ain't she?"

_I'm a Curtis too,_ I realized suddenly. Of course I knew by now that Curtis was these boys' last name, but Soda's comment brought home to me for the first time that at birth it had been my name as well.

"Whatever you say," Dallas replied lazily. He turned to Darry. "It okay if I crash here tonight? I really don't feel like going all the way back to Buck's."

"Sure," Darry said absently. He seemed to be thinking of something else. To me he said, "I'd really like to introduce you to the rest of our gang, Mia. Can you come over again tomorrow, maybe around five? We should all be here, and you could stay for dinner again if you want."

"Okay," I replied shyly. I'd actually been hoping for something like this. I got up and put on my pink coat, buttoning it tightly, as it was cold out there.

I shook hands with my brothers, and was surprised when Soda gave me a light kiss on the cheek. We made our goodbyes and then Darry walked me out to my waiting car. As my driver pulled away, I turned for another look at the house, and smiled softly to myself. I had my brothers now- and I was going to see them again tomorrow.

A/N: Just so you all know, this story is going to be extremely long- I have a very complicated plot in mind, so I hope you'll all keep reading. Thanks to all who have reviewed- please keep it up! Notes to reviewers with questions or special observations:

**Araz: **Hope you liked the rest of the dinner scene! The actress you mentioned is named Emmy Rossum, and yes, if you're picturing her when you think of Mia, you've just about got her. And thank you for your lovely reviews.

**Random stuff about stuff:** Yes, she is going to meet the rest of the gang, in the next chapter.

**Lucky: **Yes, Mia can be rather that way. She's not always likeable- not even to me! But rest assured she is the way she is for a reason, and not just because she's a spoiled rich girl. All that will be explained.

And to the rest of you…many, many thanks.


	4. Introductions and Apologies

Disclaimer: S.E. Hinton owns the Outsiders and all characters and situations therein. I, however, do own Mia and the rest of my OCs.

The next morning I was awoken at nine o'clock by the kind people from Room Service, wheeling in my breakfast tray. Generally I am not a morning person, so it took me a few minutes to remember where I was and why, but when I did I sat straight up, stretching and eager to begin my day.

"Good morning, Miss Mia," Kelsey greeted me, handing me a cup of tea with cream and one sugar, just how I like it.

"Morning," I replied, grinning, still glowing from last night. Kelsey smiled and ran her hand through my messy hair before she went into the bathroom to draw me a hot bath, like she does every morning at home.

I sank back into my pillows and contemplated the ceiling. For once I felt rested; I had actually slept well, without the nightmares that had plagued me since Risa died. Maybe that would stop now. I certainly hoped so.

When Kelsey informed me that my bath was ready, I entered the spacious marbled room, took off my white cotton nightgown, and slipped into the hot perfumed water. Sighing with pleasure, I slid down till the steaming water reached my chin. I am a girl who likes her creature comforts, and hot baths are necessities to me.

After my bath, I stood in front of my closet wrapped in my dressing gown, frowning. I was still conscious about what Dallas had said the night before about my clothes being different from Tulsa girls'. Was I really not dressed appropriately? But I had met several young ladies my own age at the hotel, and they wore styles very similar to my own.

With a surge of defiance I pulled a gray silky wrap sweater and a midcalf-length cream brocade skirt from the closet, adding a fitted black jacket and black ballet flats. Taking in my reflection, I added a string of black pearls and my pink sapphire right-hand ring, a present from Greg, a good friend of mine and my sometime-boyfriend. I looked like any other New York girl-heiress. And if Dallas didn't like it, that was fine with me.

The day flew by in a whirl of shops and sightseeing with Kelsey. Before I knew it, five o'clock had arrived, and I was once more ringing the doorbell at the Curtis house.

A yelled "It's open!" greeted me in response. I rolled my eyes- this house really needed a butler- and gingerly pushed open the door.

"Mia!" Soda exclaimed, leaping up and running over to me in his stocking feet. He kissed my cheek and pulled me into the living room, where there were three more new faces for me to be introduced to, as well as Ponyboy, who waved at me and said to the three boys, "This is our gang. Guys, this is our sister, Mia de Barbarac."

A sudden burst of shyness quenched the introductory remarks I would have made then, and I could only nod. Normally I have never been a shy person- being the daughter of one of New York's most prominent hostesses, I had done quite a lot of entertaining and party going, especially since technically I am not out in Society yet. But this was a completely different story.

A tall young man with long sideburns hopped up off the floor to shake hands with me.

"I'm Two-Bit Matthews," he said cheerfully. "What's up? You like Tulsa so far?" Without waiting for a response he turned to Soda and said, "Boy howdy, how'd you three end up related to a classy Soc like this?"

There was that "Soc" reference again, and it was beginning to get on my nerves, but I couldn't help liking him anyway, even if I seriously doubted "Two-Bit" was his actual first name.

"Nice to meet you," I managed to say. A boy of about Soda's height, dressed in a work shirt, his hair oiled in complex-looking swirls, shook my hand as well.

"I'm Steve, Soda's best friend," he said. "We work together at the DX."

"What's the DX?" I said curiously.

"Gas station," Soda said, looking amused. "Do you not have them in Manhattan?"

"I don't drive, so I wouldn't know." I paused, and looked at the other gentleman in the room, who was sitting on the sofa, watching. With black hair, tan skin, and a long scar down the side of his face, he looked shy and suspicious at the same time. There was something very sad in his eyes, but beautiful too.

Two-Bit followed my gaze and said, "And that's Johnny Cade."

Johnny nodded to me and said, "Hey, Mia," very quietly.

"Hi, Johnny, nice to meet you," I replied, starting to feel a bit like a robot. Why couldn't I think of anything more charming to say to these people? I had never run short of the small-talk niceties before.

At that moment Darry walked in from work and called hellos out to everybody, smiling at me and squeezing my shoulder as he walked past on the way to the kitchen. After sitting rather uncomfortably next to Two-Bit on the sofa, I got up and followed Darry to the kitchen, where he was taking out to ingredients for dinner.

"How was work today?" I asked, feeling rather awkward.

"Not bad," Darry said absently as he scanned a recipe for chili.

"Do you need any help with dinner?"

He looked up at me, amused. "Have you ever cooked before?"

I flushed. "Well, no. But I've watched people cook. And I've made toast before!" I was secretly rather proud of that fact.

Darry considered that. "How would you like to learn how to make cornbread?"

"I'd love that," I said eagerly. This was completely out of my arena, but it looked like fun, and it was such a family thing to do.

I washed up, and Darry handed me an apron. After tying my dark hair back and rolling up my sleeves, I was ready, and soon Darry was showing me how to crack eggs, measure flour, and all manner of useful things. To my surprise I liked it.

Half an hour later, after I triumphantly placed the cornbread in the oven, I sat back at the kitchen table while Darry prepared the chili. Everything felt very relaxed and casual, something I was not used to.

"So why aren't you in school now? You're not missing classes, are you?" Darry asked as he chopped up a green pepper.

"Selwyn runs on a different schedule than most schools. We have classes in June and July, then we have November and December off, because socially those months are very busy," I explained. "So I've actually just started my vacation this week."

Darry nodded thoughtfully and seemed to consider something before saying, "Do you have any plans?"

I shook my head. "I'm not out yet." He stared at me, looking confused, until I giggled and went on, "In Society, I mean. With Risa gone I can't go to the holiday balls and dinners and so on, because I don't have an adult escort, and to go alone would be inappropriate at my age." Inwardly I was amazed he hadn't known this. These sorts of rules made up the framework of my childhood, of my world.

An hour later we were all gathered around the table- me, my brothers, and their friends. There was a very loose, family atmosphere that I really liked, and I couldn't help wonder what growing up here would have been like.

Everyone was full of questions for me about my life, and I was feeling a little overwhelmed. I wasn't used to being the center of attention like this.

"Do you have a boyfriend up there?" Steve asked after dinner, and I nearly choked on my coffee. I couldn't believe a virtual stranger was asking me such a personal question.

However, since everyone, especially Darry, looked interested in this topic, I sighed and said, "Sort of. A gentleman named Gregory Thurston escorts me various places, and I see him socially quite a bit."

"How old is he?" Sodapop asked.

"Eighteen." I paused and took a sip of coffee.

"Are you crazy?" Darry demanded. "That's way too old for you!"

"It's _fine_, Darry. Seriously." I changed the subject by asking Ponyboy about his day at school, ignoring Darry's frown. I wasn't sure how I felt about these people taking an actual interest in my life. Not yet.

I got back to my hotel around midnight, with plans to meet the boys the next day, Saturday, for a tour of Tulsa. Kelsey was waiting up for me, with a cup of tea and my nightgown, ready to get me ready for bed.

"You've had a pleasant evening, then, Miss Mia?" Kelsey asked, smoothing the sheets down around me.

"Very pleasant. I still can't believe it." I snuggled down into my blankets, something tugging at my heart. "Hey, Kelsey?"

Kelsey paused in the doorway, about to turn off the lights. "Yes, Miss Mia?"

"Do you think maybe you could just call me Mia?" I saw her smile, and added softly, "And I'm sorry I've been such a brat since Risa died."

Kelsey walked over to me, kissed both my cheeks, and tucked the blankets tightly around me. "Oh, my darling girl. It's quite alright, Mia, I promise. Now get some sleep"

I smiled and drifted off as Kelsey turned off the lights.

A/N: Please review, so I know people are reading this and want to see more. Thanks so much!


	5. City Tour

Chapter Five

"And over there's the Dingo, where we hang out. Pretty cool drive-in, but it's rough there sometimes," Sodapop informed me. He, Ponyboy, Two-Bit, and Steve were showing me around Tulsa.

The areas we were in were like nothing I'd ever seen before, but I was enjoying myself, despite the funny stares we were attracting from passersby. Dally had been right- girls from this side of town didn't dress like me.

"Would Madam care to stop in for refreshment?" Two-Bit asked me in an exaggerated British accent. He had been doing that all day, but it was funny. He held out his arm to me, and I giggled and took it as we stepped inside the restaurant.

The interior was dark and smoky, with Elvis playing from a large jukebox in a corner. There were people everywhere, boys in jeans and T-shirts with slicked-back hair and girls in short skirts, their hard eyes heavily lined with makeup. Suddenly very self-conscious, I smoothed my plaid wool skirt and black cashmere sweater set. More people turned to stare as we slipped into a booth, Two-Bit on one side of me and Ponyboy on the other.

Steve took out his cigarettes and passed them around, then held the pack out to me and said, "I'm betting you don't smoke, do you?" Nearly everyone else in the place was, including the girls. I shook my head.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Sodapop said suddenly. I nodded, and he asked, "Why do you always call your adopted mom Risa?"

I froze for a moment and said calmly, "That's not something I talk about."

Ponyboy frowned. "But-"

"No," I said sharply. "Not under any circumstances."

Sodapop just shrugged at that and said, "Okay, Mia, whatever." I had a feeling he was like that about a lot of things, and I tried to relax.

The waitress came and set down our Cokes. I was sipping mine idly and listening to the boys' stories about the various people who had stopped by our table when a lazy voice interrupted.

"Didn't think I'd see you guys here today. Guess the princess decided to go slumming?"

Dallas Winston and Johnny Cade slid into the booth across from me, next to Steve. Johnny said a shy hello to me, which I returned, ignoring Dallas.

"Hey, Dal," Two Bit said cheerfully. "Hey, Johnnycake. What's going on?"

Dallas lit up a cigarette and said to me, "So what does a lady like you think of our hangout? There ain't any crystal chandeliers or fine china, so it's not what you're used to, but I bet they'd roll it out for you if you told them they had a de Barbarac here-"

By now I had had enough. I leaned across the table and took the cigarette from his lips. I inhaled, then exhaled the smoke through my nose, a trick my friend Jumana had taught me.

"I think," I said slowly, "That you have no idea what my life is or who I am." Ignoring the other boys, who were gaping, I took another puff on the cigarette and ground it beneath my heel.

To my great surprise, Dallas laughed. He looked different that way- younger, maybe. He leaned back and said to me, "So you think you're a tough broad, huh?"

"I don't know if I'd phrase it like that," I said coolly. "But I'm not some prim little Soc, if that's what you think." I was inwardly triumphant at using some local slang, and hoped I'd pronounced it correctly, but I wasn't going to spoil the effect and ask. I figured I could ask Ponyboy later.

He cocked an eyebrow at me, like I'd seen Two-Bit do sometimes and drawled, "You want to prove that?"

"Dally-" Soda started to say warningly, but I held up one hand for silence. I wasn't going to let any hoodlum speak of a de Barbarac that way.

"What, exactly, did you have in mind?" I asked, crossing my arms.

Dallas stared for a moment and then grinned, his eyes hard. "I'm headin' to a party tonight. Should get pretty crazy. You think you can handle it?"

"Sure," I replied, my head racing. A party with Dallas Winston? Was I crazy? What would being seen with a person like that- I could hardly call him a gentleman- do to my reputation? _But this isn't New York_, I reminded myself. I didn't know anyone from my own class here. Besides which I had something to prove. And although I vehemently disliked him, Dallas fascinated me, there was no doubt about that.

"Pick you up at nine then, doll. Got an address?"

With mixed feelings, I quickly wrote down the address of my hotel and handed it to him. Pocketing the paper, Dallas got up and sauntered out, then turned and said to me, "The guys'll be happy. Told Tim Shepard I was comin' to ask you, and they're lookin' forward to seeing what an _heiress_ looks like."

I didn't respond, fuming slightly at the contempt in his voice at the word 'heiress'. Who did he think he was? What made me inferior in his eyes, just having money?

I noticed then that all the boys were staring at me again.

"What?" I said, nonchalantly taking a sip of Coke.

"Darry," Ponyboy said finally, "is not going to like this."

Steve chuckled. "Are you kidding? He's gonna hate this, especially since that party Dal's going to is at Buck's."

"Oh, no," Soda said with finality, turning to me. "Mia, kiddo, there is no way Darry's gonna let you go to a party at Buck Merrill's. That's one of the roughest hangouts there is-"

"Soda," I said, suddenly feeling very tired, "I appreciate the concern, but I don't actually need Darry's permission to go anywhere, if you'll remember. I'm an adult and I can take care of myself."

Two-Bit snorted, but all he said was, "Hope you're into Hank Williams."

"Who?" I said, feeling confused, but Two-Bit and Steve had both burst out laughing. Rolling my eyes, I leaned back and took another sip of Coke.

I returned to my hotel suite shortly afterwards, and dashed into Kelsey's bedroom.

"Kels," I said with a grin, "I'm going to a party tonight!"

Kelsey sat up and raised her eyebrows. "Tonight? An evening party? But what on earth are you going to wear? You didn't bring any evening gowns, no elbow gloves."

"I don't think it's that sort of-" I cut myself off and sat down, chewing my lower lip thoughtfully. Dallas didn't think a girl like me could handle a party like his because I was a rich girl, a de Barbarac. _If they want to see an heiress at one of their 'rough' parties_, I thought grimly, _then I'll show them an heiress._

Smiling slightly, I grabbed Kelsey's hand and pulled her to the elevator. It was time to go shopping.

A/N: As always, many thanks to my wonderful reviewers, who give me the drive to keep going.


	6. Learning To Party

Chapter Six

"And you're sure about this, are you, Mia?" Kelsey asked apprehensively as she fastened my necklace.

"Quite sure," I replied firmly, spritzing on some perfume.

"I still cannot believe you are going to—to one of those _rave_ parties," Kelsey said, her voice disapproving. "And dressed like that! If any word of this gets to the papers-"

"This is Tulsa," I pointed out. "Not New York. Don't worry, Kels! There won't be any Page Six columnists where I'm going, trust me. Now, is my hair ready? I want to see."

"You're all done. Go take a look."

I got up and walked over to the full-length gilt mirror that stood in one corner of my dressing room. I've always been critical of my appearance, but tonight I was pleased with what I saw.

Many times in my life, I have had cause to wear a ball gown. But this one outshone them all. Midnight-blue silk, with layers of tulle under the skirt making it very full. Little capped sleeves and a plunging neckline- the first time I'd worn one. Silver slippers on my feet. White gloves going all the way up to my elbows. A diamond pendent on a silver chain around my neck. My hair down around my shoulders, with just the sides swept back in- this was my favorite part- a small diamond-and-sapphire tiara.

I turned to Kelsey and gave her a big grin, feeling every inch the confident heiress in this dress. I was done trying to conform now. I was going to be myself, and I was going to do it to the hilt.

Kelsey gave me a satisfied smile- she loves seeing me all dressed up- before saying worriedly, "I just wish someone besides that Dallas was going with you, I'm very anxious at you there on your own-"

"Oh, I won't be," I assured her. "Two-Bit said he'd come and check up on me."

"Thank you, I feel _much_ better now," Kelsey said sarcastically.

I giggled. "Can you believe, Kelsey, that I'm really here? That is this is really my life?"

Kelsey kissed my forehead and stepped back, her hands on my shoulders. "Yes, I can. What I can't believe is that the little girl I was hired to look after is this beautiful young woman standing here in front of me."

"Stop it," I laughed. "You're going to make me get all teary, and he'll be here soon."

"And you're really going to do this? Because it seems like an awful lot of fuss just to make a point."

I just stood there and raised one eyebrow, and Kelsey sighed. "Oh, I know, I know. You've got that look again. Just be careful."

"You worry too much," I replied, turning back to the mirror to apply one last coat of lipstick.

There was a knock on the door, and a bellhop walked in, a rather young gentleman who said, "Miss de Barbarac, there is a young man in the lobby who claims to be your escort for the evening. Do you happen to know a Mr. Dallas Winston?"

"Yes," I replied, "please tell him I will be down shortly." The bellhop nodded and left.

"Looks like it's time. Wish me luck!" I gave Kelsey a quick kiss on the cheek and dashed from the room, enjoying the way my dress rustled when it moved. I took the elevator to the mezzanine floor, but had decided to take the Grand Staircase to the lobby. I was going to make an entrance.

At the head of the staircase, I took a deep, deep breath and began the descent slowly, slightly lifting my skirts so I wouldn't trip. As I neared the bottom into the marbled elegance of the lobby, I saw Dallas, slouching against a wall near the fountain. When he first saw me his mouth dropped open, and I felt vindicated that I had managed to shock him for at least one moment. Then, slowly, he grinned, shook his head, and walked over to meet me at the foot of the stairs.

I inclined my head graciously and said, "Good evening, Dallas."

Dallas looked me up and down again and said, slightly incredulously, "Well, you got more guts than I gave you credit for, kid."

"I cannot imagine what you mean," I replied in a very dignified sort of way.

He cocked an eyebrow. "Come on. I ain't an idiot, y'know. I was expecting some Socy dress, but not a whole Cinderella getup."

"What did you expect, after that last crack of yours?" I retorted. "Any woman of spirit would have reacted in exactly the same-" Dallas was shaking his head again, cutting me off.

"Look, I don't care what you're wearing, even if I am lookin' forward to seein' Shepard's face when he sees you. Let's just get outta here, this place gives me the creeps. My car's parked out back."

"Oh, no," I said coolly as we made our way to the main doors. "We're taking my car and driver. I refuse to get in a car driven by you, and since they're expecting an heiress, that's what they'll get."

Dallas just shrugged. "Whatever you say."

I rolled my eyes, and we started crossing the lobby to the doors. People turned and stared openly as we passed. After all, I looked like I was on my way to a ball, and Dallas- well, he looked like a stereotypical hood. I caught sight of us in a mirror and giggled. Dallas followed my gaze and cracked a smile too.

"We're gonna be turnin' a lot of heads tonight, babe. You better get used to it," he murmered in my ear.

Fighting to keep my face straight, I replied, "But of course. Turning heads is one of my main goals for the evening."

The doorman opened the heavy front doors, preceded him out into the cool night, where the stretch limousine I'd ordered was waiting. The chauffer, in an English uniform, opened the door for us, and I slid inside first. Dallas gave the interior a once over, obviously impressed in spite of himself.

"Want one?" he asked, holding out his cigarettes as he lit one for himself.

I shook my head. "I actually hate the taste. However…" I reached over and opened one of the mahogany cabinets on the other side of the car, pulled out two crystal goblets, and then opened the small refrigerator, where the champagne I'd ordered was chilling. I opened the bottle and calmly poured us each a glass, handing one to Dallas, who raised his eyebrows but took a drink.

"Wouldn'tve figured you for the drinking type. You know you'll catch it if your big brothers find out."

I took a sip, closing my eyes in pleasure- I love champagne- and said, slightly annoyed, "I have no idea why people here are under the impression that my brothers are in charge of me, because they're not. In fact, no one is."

Dallas chuckled, drained his glass, and said, "Hate to be the one to tell you, doll, but they don't see it that way."

"How they see things is no concern of mine." I leaned back and polished off my glass too, determined that tonight I was going to relax and have fun.

Fairly soon, we pulled up in front of a ramshackle house that was obviously hosting a big party- there were people everywhere, including couples scattered on the porch and front lawn, and loud music blared from inside.

Without waiting for the chauffer, Dallas opened the door and hopped out of the limo. He actually extended his hand to help me out, to my great surprise. Dallas kept me guessing, something that I was not accustomed to.

We made our way to the front door, stepping over beer bottles, trash, and the occasional unwashed, unconscious boy. I was beginning to get nervous now. The door was flung open already, and I paused at the threshold, feeling very unsure of myself now. Dallas just glanced at me, grinned roguishly, and pulled me through.

Inside we were greeted by all sorts of rough-looking people yelling Dallas' name, coupled with a few unprintable adjectives at whose meanings I could only guess, and, of course, everyone stopped short and stared when they saw me.

"This," Dallas announced grandly, "Is Mia de Barbarac." Unsettled though I was inside, outwardly I was composed and poised, flashing the assembled guests my most brilliant smile.

"What, the Curtis chick?" asked one of them critically, a young man who looked to be slightly older than Dallas, with curly black hair, dark eyes, and a long scar that started up at one temple and ended at his chin.

"That would be me, yes," I said pleasantly.

He seemed to size me up before saying, "I'm Tim Shepard. My brother Curly's around here someplace."

"Charmed," I replied, putting one ankle behind the other and dipping a quick curtsey.

Tim stood there for a second and stared before laughing. Everyone else in the room joined in, but it was pretty good-natured. The ice broken, people just started introducing themselves, including Tim's younger brother, Curly, who expertly twisted the top off a beer and handed it to me.

"Thank you," I told him, rather surprised. I took a sip, and was surprised that I quite liked it. Nerves had made me thirsty, so I downed half of it at once, and when I finished it, someone was on hand with another.

Dallas escorted me to a poker table, where I sat down next to Tim, who'd agreed to let me watch so I could learn to play.

"So you're really the Curtis girl?" asked Buck Merril as he placed several more chips in the middle of the table.

"Yep," I replied, taking another long drink.

Tim shook his head as he scrutinized his cards. "Never would've guessed you for a greaser chick, I gotta admit. This really oughta show them Socs."

"What should?" I said, confused.

"You," Tim said, waving at my clothes. "I ain't never seen a Soc dressed so fancy, even. And you're a greaser."

I sat straight up. "I am, aren't I?" I giggled and took another swallow. "Isn't that great?"

Curly Shepard appeared at my side then. As a new Elvis song began playing, a nice respite from the abominable noise I'd since learned was Hank Williams, he said to me, "Hey, you maybe wanna dance or somethin'?"

"Sure," I replied, still giggling. "Why not?" I got up and followed him to the next room, where the music was.

Two hours and several more beers later, I was feeling very happy, relaxed, and at peace. I could play cards and dance like I'd never seen back home. And moreover, I felt actually accepted. Despite the obvious differences, they accepted me as one of theirs, which I had not expected. It was a good feeling.

Around twelve-thirty, Two-Bit finally showed up. I was in the middle of a poker game, but I waved him over.

"Two-Bit! How's life? Isn't it kicky? I think it's kicky." I really was in a good mood.

"Kicky?" Two-Bit repeated, then he grinned and said slowly, "Mia, have you been drinking?"

"Sure. Why not?" I replied, dimly aware that my words seemed to be slurred a little.

Two-Bit just shook his head and laughed. "Listen, kiddo, you better get back to the Curtis' place. Darry just found out where you are, and he's pretty ticked off."

"Oh, hell's bells," I muttered, clumsily getting up- getting up off the floor in a ballgown is not easy- and brushing myself off. Yelling goodbye to everybody, and accepting Buck's offer of another beer for the road, I told Dally I was going and then dashed out to my waiting car.

A/N: Thanks go as per usual to my reviewers. Please continue giving me feedback, and I will honor most requests in the way of plot.


	7. Confrontation

_Disclaimer: _No, I do not own the Outsiders; they belong to the brilliant S.E. Hinton. I do, however, own Mia.

Chapter Seven

The drive over to the Curtis place felt like it took forever. The cool air blowing through the sunroof had sobered me a bit; my party euphoria was fading fast. I was irritated at being called away from the festivities and beginning to feel motion sick. I intended to give Darry what-for when I saw him.

At last my driver pulled up in front of my brothers' house. I climbed somewhat unsteadily from the car and swayed on the spot, clutching the frame of the car for support. Nausea rose in my stomach, and all at once I leaned over and threw up all over the sidewalk.

"Oh, _brilliant_," I muttered, pulling a handkerchief out of my tiny clutch purse and wiping my mouth with it. I sat back down inside the car and closed my eyes for a moment, feeling exhausted and dizzy. All I wanted was my toothbrush and my bed. Soon after I had fallen into a light doze, I felt strong arms lifting me up, and the next thing I knew I was being tossed roughly onto a couch.

"Ow," I moaned, lifting one hand to my head. Opening my eyes I found myself in the Curtis living room, with Darry standing in front of me, his arms crossed over his chest and looking more furious than I'd ever seen anyone look at me in my life.

I sat up, glaring at Darry. "What the hell is your problem, exactly?"

"First of all," Darry snapped, "Watch your mouth. And second of all, my _problem_ happens to be that my fifteen-year-old kid sister was out in the middle of the night drunk at a party she had no business even being at!"

I felt fury rise in my veins. "I am not a kid anymore, Darrel. I am an adult, and it was just a party, for goodness' sake! I more than held my own-"

"That is not the point and you know it! And you're a long way from being an adult, kiddo."

"The funny thing is," I said sarcastically, "everyone else seems to disagree with you there. I'm in charge of my own life, and I'm mature enough to handle that, Darrel, whatever you might say about it."

Darry snorted. "Yeah, you're real mature, all right. That must be why you're standing here half-drunk in a prom dress in the middle of the night-"

"This isn't a prom dress," I retorted, more stung by his words than I cared to admit. "It's a ball dress, far more formal, don't you know _anything_?"

Darry's eyes flashed, and I wondered if maybe I'd gone too far with that last remark. But by then, I was too angry and defensive to care.

"Do you have any idea," Darry said, his voice icy, "What Mom and Dad would say about your behavior if they could see you now?"

I felt hot tears form in the backs of my eyes. "Actually, I don't. And why is that? Oh, that's right- they didn't bother keeping me long enough so I could find out!" Darry looked shocked at my words and didn't speak for a minute.

"You're wrong there," he said finally. "Very wrong. We can talk about that later. But right now we need to decide how we're gonna handle this."

"Excuse me?" I said, my own voice cold now. "_Handle_ this? I went to a party. I had a few drinks. I don't see where you come in here. For the thousandth time, I am an adult now!" I stamped my foot, as much in frustration as to emphasize my point.

"Well, you're certainly not acting like it!" Darry retorted. "In fact, you're acting more like a shallow spoiled brat who doesn't-" His words were cut off by the creak of the front door. We both whirled around to see Sodapop and Ponyboy, obviously returning from a night out, standing there gaping. Whether they were more startled by my outfit or the heated fight they must have overheard, I didn't know. Or particularly care at that moment.

I turned back to Darry, anger and hurt mixing to form a tight knot in my chest. "Oh, don't worry," I said to him, my voice cracking. "You won't be putting up with me or my so-called shallowness anymore." Brushing past Soda and Pony, who were still standing there dumbfounded, I tore out the front gate to my limo.

"My hotel, please," I said to the driver, struggling to regain my composure; de Barbaracs do not show emotion in public.

On the drive back, I leaned my head against the window, consumed in misery. How could it have all gone so _wrong_? Everything I had come here for had come crashing down on me in the past half-hour.

There could only be one explanation. I didn't belong here, in their world. I was too different after all. This had been a stupid idea from the beginning. I didn't need them. I didn't need anybody.

At the hotel I took the elevator back up to my suite, taking a good long look at myself in the elevator car's mirrored walls. My hair was messy and my tiara askew, mascara smeared around my eyelids, my complexion pale and waxy. The night's events had taken their toll on me.

Back in my suite, I knocked on Kelsey's door. She opened it and, shocked, took in my horrific appearance. I could tell she was about to say or ask something, but I spoke first.

"Pack our bags," I told her. "We're leaving in the morning."

I dashed down the hall to my own room, stripping off my gloves and jewelry and placing them on my dressing table. Still in my gown, I flung myself down on the bed. The tears I had been holding in for an hour poured forth then, and I buried my head in my arms and wept.

A/N: Yes, this is short, but I have been absolutely swamped these past few days, so I thought I'd go ahead and post this now. Special thanks to all my fabulous reviewers, especially **Araz**, whose thoughtful comments keep me thinking and working to improve this story. I seriously love everyone's comments; you lot rock, and keep me motivated. Please keep it up!


	8. Window to the Past

Chapter Eight

It seemed like only moments after I'd fallen asleep that I was awoken by a tap at my door and Kelsey stepping into my room.

"Good morning, Mia," she greeted me.

"Kelsey," I moaned, half-lifting up my pink satin eye mask. My head was throbbing, I was still nauseous, and I was very thankful at the moment that the drapes were shut tight. "What time is it?"

"Ten past eight."

"Ten past _eight_?" I burrowed back into my pillows. I was not getting up; our flight was for nine that night. "I am not leaving this bed before noon unless the building's on fire. And possibly not even then."

Kelsey stayed where she was, however. "Mr. Curtis is here to see you, darling. Not Darrel, Sodapop. He says it's urgent."

Although it was the very last thing I wanted to do, I forced myself to sit up and take my eye mask off. None of what had happened last night was Sodapop's fault, and I supposed the only proper thing to do would be to at least say goodbye.

"I'll see him. But can you please go in and close the sitting room drapes first?" Kelsey nodded and left the room. I climbed out of bed and slipped on my dressing gown, which had been waiting at the foot of the bed. I glanced at myself in the mirror and blanched at the sight. I looked like- well, I looked like I'd gotten drunk, cried for two hours, and gone to bed with my makeup still on. But I wasn't going to worry about that now.

I walked down the short hallway to the sitting room, where Sodapop sat on one of the velvet couches, looking rather nervous, with a heavy-looking wooden box on the sofa next to him. He stood up when he saw me.

"Hey, honey," he said softly. I flickered my fingers in a little wave and crossed the room to the phone, picking up the receiver and dialing a few numbers.

"Hello, Room Service? Yes. Could you please send a Bloody Mary and some dry wheat toast to room 504?" I glanced at Soda. "Would you like anything?" He shook his head, and I hung up the phone before settling into an armchair directly across from where Soda sat. It was then that he seemed to notice the luggage piled near the doorway.

"You're really leaving?" he blurted out.

I nodded tiredly. "It's just time. I'm glad I met you. Really, I am. But I have a life to get back to."

Soda sighed and leaned back in his chair. The he said suddenly, "You know Darry was just really worried, right? That's why he yelled like that, he's the same way with Ponyboy. He just has a lot more worries than he oughta, is all."

"Well, he'll have one less worry now." There was a knock at the door, and Room Service wheeled in with my breakfast. As I sipped my drink my headache eased and my stomach began to slowly settle.

"So you're not even going to try and work things out with him?" Soda said sadly.

I shook my head, wincing at the movement. "There's no point, really. I came here to see where I come from and who my birth family was. Now I know."

"You don't know," he said stubbornly. He gestured to the box beside him. "That's why I brought you this. We found it in Mom and Dad's room after they—died." I could hear the hesitation, one that I knew too well. Even months after it was painful to say out loud. Soda cleared his throat. "Well, some of it. The two letters they'd given to the social worker, who gave them back to Darry. Anyway, it's yours now. Please promise me you'll look through it before you go."

"I promise," I said, very curious in spite of myself.

Soda stood up and put on his jacket. "And don't forget to come to the house on the way to the airport and say goodbye. Pony'll be heartbroken if you don't." I nodded mutely. Soda squeezed my hand and left.

It wasn't until I had finished eating and had had a long, hot bath that I decided to open the box. For some reason it scared and excited me all at once that I might at last be getting some answers.

I sat down on the sitting room floor and, taking a deep breath, opened up the lid. Musty-smelling air wafted up towards me and I coughed. Once it cleared I could see several small boxes, some very thick-looking folders, a photo album and two envelopes- with my name written on them in handwriting that was- _it's just like mine_, I realized in amazement.

Reminding myself to breathe, I took the first folder from the box and opened it slowly. A piece of thick, official-looking paper with the words Certificate of Birth embossed on the top stared up at me. My original birth certificate! _Oh, my goodness_. I had always wanted to see it.

The paper had my birthday printed on it- I knew that one, of course- and my parents' names, along with my old one. Mia Victoria Curtis, born to Darrel Shaynne Curtis, Sr., and Lydia Margaret Curtis. I was very startled- I had no idea my birth parents had given me my middle name too.

It took me half an hour to get through the rest of that folder, which contained all sorts of records, doctors' forms, and the like from the first six months of my life. I pored over every word, absolutely mesmerized by minute details such as my immunization records.

Next I decided to open one of the envelopes. I lifted the older-looking, yellowed one out of the box. Looking at the date written in the lower left-hand corner, I realized with a twist to my heart that it had been written the same week I had been given up for adoption. It had to be from my parents. I took a deep breath and pressed my hands to my eyes. I had always wanted this moment, but now that it was here, I wasn't ready.

Bracing myself, I opened the unsealed envelope and lifted out a slightly brittle piece of paper with that same handwriting, so like mine.

_Dearest Mia Victoria,_

_Oh, my precious baby girl. I'm sitting here watching you sleep. Your father has taken your two older brothers out for the afternoon so I could have a little time alone with you. _

_You are six months old today. I can barely believe it. Watching you grow has been a miracle. You are my third child, but I have learned that every baby is a miracle and every one is different. _

_But your father and I had to make a terrible and painful decision yesterday. One that, if you are reading this, you are no doubt well aware of already._

_You see, baby, our family isn't doing too well. Your father is working three jobs, and we still can't make the ends meet. It's getting to be wintertime now, and the house is cold. Your brothers are hungry, and with all this taking a toll on my health, you're suffering too. We can't let this continue._

_Please, please understand that your father and I have done everything we could. But now you children are suffering because of our selfishness, our efforts to hold this family together and put off the decision that we made yesterday to give you, our daughter, up for adoption. _

_This is without question the hardest thing we have ever had to do. But we want more, so much more, for you than this. More than this neighborhood, this life. I want the whole world for you._

_Before all else, please know that you are very, very wanted and dearly loved. Your father and I want nothing more than to keep you and watch you grow into the beautiful woman you'll be someday. _

_My darling daughter, you will always be in our minds and hearts. We will miss you more than words could possibly say, and we love you more than you will ever know._

_Your mother,_

_Lydia_

Trembling, I set the letter down and picked up the photograph that had been tucked inside the envelope with it. It was a family portrait. A handsome, muscular man who looked so much like Darrel that it made me do a double take. Two adorable little boys. And- this was the hardest- a beautiful woman with warm blue eyes cradling a tiny baby girl. _Me. _

I cried until I didn't have tears left, the kind of hiccupping, throaty crying that leaves your eyes tender and your stomach aching. My mind was whirling with everything I had just learned. I had been wanted. I had been _loved_. They had wanted to keep me- and no doubt they had missed me like Lydia said they would.

After washing my face and getting some air on the balcony, I returned to the box and the second folder, which felt heavier than the first. Flipping it open, I found an enormous stack of yellowed newspaper clippings. I paged through them with growing shock.

Every one of them was clipped from the Society pages of the _Times_- and every one of them was about me.

The first, dated from my third birthday, was a short article entitled _Future debutante Mia de Barbarac hosts third birthday garden party. _ It was accompanied by a picture of Risa, smiling widely, her dark brown eyes sparkling with happiness, holding me, a toddler in a very ornate lacy pink dress and shiny black shoes. There were so many of them. When you're the daughter of a very famous New York society woman, you become a minor celebrity of sorts yourself. I had never thought too much about my press clippings. It was all just part of the background of my life.

_Risa and Mia de Barbarac attend the Plaza's Easter charity ball. Mia de Barbarac to begin studies at the renowned Selwyn School. Risa de Barbarac hosts private dance to celebrate the fourteenth birthday of her daughter, Mia Victoria. _My whole life, summarized in short articles and photos.

I leaned back against the wall, feeling more confused than ever. Clearly they had known where I was and who I had become, although I could not imagine what it would be like, watching your daughter grow up as the daughter of someone else. But if they had been keeping track of me all these years, why did they never just call?

I picked up the second envelope, which was dated two weeks after Risa's death.

_Dear Mia, _

_Hi, baby. I'm your birth mother, Lydia Curtis. I suppose you've read the first letter by now- I cannot believe it is fifteen years since I wrote it, with you asleep in a cradle by my bed._

_The whole family was deeply saddened to hear about your mother's death. I cannot imagine what it is you must be going through. I only spoke with Risa a few times- _

What? I reread the last line, shocked. Lydia and Risa had talked? When? Why? Why did no one tell me, ask me if- I shook my head, deeply upset as I returned to the letter.

-_but I found her to be a wonderful woman, lovely, charming, and kind. I am more grateful than I can say that you grew up with her for a mother. It is exactly as your father and I wished for you all those years ago. _

_We have seen your picture in the papers more times than I can count, which has been a blessing for us. I can't tell you how proud we all are of the beautiful, accomplished, poised young lady you have become. _

_Honey, you have a home here with us if ever you want or need it. We completely understand if that is too difficult for you to handle. But think about it. We are always here if you need us. Just say the word, and we'll be there._

_With love from your birth mother,_

_Lydia_

I had no idea what I was going to do about the situation with Darry. But I knew now that I could not leave Tulsa without getting more answers.

A/N: Well, how was it? This was probably the hardest chapter for me to write so far. Please keep reviewing, so I know people are reading. Special thanks to all my wonderful reviewers!


	9. Mixed Blessings

Chapter Nine

That day was not an easy one for me. I was still tired, hungover, and wondering what on earth I was going to do. By then I had decided that I was going to have to go back to the Curtis house that evening to ask them a few questions, mainly about Darrel Senior and Lydia. There were photographs I had queries about, and a small mahogany box with a lock but no key that I was hoping they could open.

But how to handle the situation with Darrel? It wasn't like I could avoid him, not in that small a house. And even if avoiding him were possible, I had a feeling he wouldn't let me.

I was still mulling this over at five that afternoon, as I lounged in a hot bath and Kelsey came into the bathroom with my dressing gown and heated towels.

"What am I going to _do_, Kels?" I moaned for what felt like the nine thousandth time.

"I can't answer that, I'm afraid," Kelsey replied as she arranged my combs and brushes on the marbled counter. "You still haven't told me exactly what happened. Was it his behavior that set you off so much, or your own?"

"Both," I muttered. The things Darrel had said still hurt. But I had said some fairly awful things too. I knew- and Kelsey knew- that when I was feeling angry enough and defensive enough, I could say truly horrible things to people, including people I loved. I had a tendency to lash out and go straight for the jugular in situations like that. It's something I've fought all my life.

She paused in her work to give me a long, searching look, and she sighed.

"What?" I asked curiously as I turned the taps to add more hot water.

Kelsey ran a hand through her black hair, looking very concerned. "I really think we should get you home as soon as possible, that's all. I don't like what this place is doing to you."

I frowned. "Doing what?"

"Look at you. You're pale, those circles under your eyes are back. And need I remind you of last night? I've never seen you in such a state."

Now it was my turn to sigh. "I know. Not my most shining moment. But hopefully I won't be here much longer. I just need-"

"Answers. I know." Kelsey kissed the top of my wet hair and left the room.

I leaned back in the hot water and let my thoughts wander. I was getting homesick now. Not just for New York, and my friends, and my life. For my mother. I missed Risa fiercely just then, with an ache in my heart that had been there a year now, ever since she took sick that last time and the doctors explained to me that she wouldn't be getting better.

I settled back more into the bubbles and yawned. The water was so hot, and I was so sleepy. Last night hadn't exactly been restful. The past year hadn't exactly been restful. I would close my eyes for a little while…just a little while…

_I tiptoe out of the night nursery and down several corridors to my mother's bedroom, hiding shyly outside the doorway so I can watch her. Risa sits at her dressing table, getting ready for a night out. I love watching her in her beautiful dresses, putting on her makeup, and wish I could go with her. But apparently five-year-old girls don't go to the opera. _

_Risa applies mascara with perfect precision and blush to the apples of her cheeks. My mother is the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world. Suddenly she looks up at me and smiles. _

"_I didn't know you were up, darling," she exclaims, rising and swooping me up. She kisses me on both cheeks and sits back down at her dressing table, settling me on her lap. I snuggle into her arms as she wraps them around my waist. _

"_Tell me a secret, Risa," I request. We play this game all the time._

"_All right." She pauses, thinking, her sparkling eyes meeting mine in the mirror. Then she grins and whispers in my ear, "When I was your age, I used to sneak out of school with my friend Cornelia, and we'd go to the park and make daisy chains all afternoon!" She tickles my stomach, and I'm shrieking with laughter._

_The next thing I know, I'm holding Risa's cold hand as she sleeps. My eyes find the mirror hanging on the wall in the hospital room, and if I had the energy I would gasp at my haggard appearance. I turn fifteen years old today, but I look far older. My hair hangs limp around my shoulders, my complexion is white as marble, and the circles around my blue eyes are so dark they look bruised. Staying at Risa's bedside twenty-four hours a day was having an effect, but I in no way care, because I won't leave her._

_I stare down at my mother, one hand clutching the locket that she had given me that morning. The worn, emaciated woman in the bed barely resembles the woman I know. The woman who would pick me up and twirl me in circles, the woman who gave lavish parties and was the toast of Society but still, even now, made sure to be home every school night to tuck me in before she went out. The woman who taught me how to be the best person I could. Was this really my mother, hooked up to all these machines, looking so thin and so frail?_

_She stirs then and I sit up a little straighter, feeling that cold hand squeeze my own as she opens her eyes and looks over at me, smiling._

"_Hello, darling," she says, reaching up to run her hand through my lank hair._

_I manage, barely, to keep from sobbing. Instead, I say softly , "Tell me a secret, Risa."_

_My mother smiles again at this, still our favorite game. She thinks for awhile, then touches my arm and whispers to me, "The very happiest moment of my life was the day they placed you in my arms. I knew then that I had met my daughter." _

Suddenly I was breathing in water, and surged to the surface of the bath, gasping for air, still choking. I realized immediately that I had fallen asleep, and was not surprised to find tears coursing down my cheeks, mingling with the bathwater dripping from my hair.

I hated these times, and I cherished them too. My memories came back to me as dreams, clear, painful, beautiful and exactly as they had happened. It was a blessing and a curse, and the reason that while I did not sleep soundly anymore, I also slept far too much.

I shook the water out of my eyes and climbed out of the tub, toweling myself off and slipping on my dressing gown as I dashed into my bedroom to get dressed. I shouted for Kelsey to call a cab.

Enough was enough. I had to fix this thing with Darrel, or I at least had to try. In some strange way I did not understand, he was family. Those three boys were family. And he had been trying, in his own fashion, to look out for me.

But now I had to wonder if he would forgive me.

Or if he even could.

A/N: I know this was short, again, and not especially eventful. But I wanted this chapter, this little slice of Mia's past, to stand on its own. I'll update quite soon… big things will soon be happening! Please review if you're reading, I want and need feedback. Special notes to reviewers with specific comments/questions:

**Araz**: Thanks as per usual for the lovely review. You always manage to make me think! A Bloody Mary, while an alcoholic drink, is a long-used hangover cure, one that actually does work wonders. They make fabulous ones at any Ritz-Carlton hotel, especially. A suite at the Ritz and one of their Bloody Marys will cure just about anything.

**melchick: **When I was thinking of their mother, Lydia just seemed to fit. I'm glad you think so too!

**Kitala: **Thank you! And rest assured that I will always update this story, at least once a week. If people are reading it, I will update it.

**Chica**: Your reviews were fantastic- thanks so much! Princess Ishtar sounds very interesting- I shall have to find out more about her.

**And FYI to all those who wish to know if Mia will fall in love with a member of the gang: **Currently, Mia has a boyfriend in New York. As she is a lady, she would not date two people at once. Yes, many people do this. But not Mia. For now, that is all I will say on the matter.

Well, that's about it. Thanks so much for reading!


	10. Working Through It

Chapter Ten

I don't believe I have ever dressed in such a hurry. Fifteen minutes after I woke up in the bath, I was nearly ready to go, dressed in a long-sleeved dark blue silk shirt that buttoned up the front and a black chiffon skirt that hit me right at midcalf. After I added black stockings and ankle boots- it was cold out there- I ran a comb through my dark curls and dashed out to the sitting room just as there was a knock on the door.

"Get that, Kelsey, will you?" I said absently, rummaging in my purse to see if I had everything.

Moments later Kelsey appeared in the doorway to the sitting room, a funny sort of smile on her face. "Are you planning on leaving immediately, Mia?"

"Immediately, yes," I replied as I looked around for my lipstick.

Kelsey nonchalantly leaned against the doorframe and said slyly, "Then I'm sure you'll have no interest in a package addressed to you from New York. Tiffany's, to be exact-"

I squealed and whirled around. Kelsey, grinning, handed me a lovely box in that trademark robin's egg blue and sat on the sofa with me.

I opened the card first. The handwriting was a familiar one:

_My darling Mia,_

_I do hope you're enjoying yourself! We all miss you here in the City- of course, me most of all. I had rather expected you back by now. Though of course it's wonderful you're taking your time! I look forward to hearing all about your travels. _

_Perhaps you will return by the time of the Advent Ball at the Fitzwilliams', the first weekend in December? If so, please allow me the privilege of being your escort, to that and all other events you will be home for._

_I saw this trinket at Tiffany earlier today, and it called you to mind at once. It should look well with your eyes and serve as a reminder of my devotion. Please give my respectful compliments to your relatives. _

_All my love,_

_Greg_

I smiled softly and handed the card to Kelsey as I lifted the top off the box. Inside was a beautiful silver charm bracelet, the charms being stars of the most exquisite deep blue sapphire.

"Oooh, Kelsey," I breathed, slipping the bracelet over my wrist. Greg was right- it would look rather nice with my eyes. "Isn't it lovely?"

"That boy spoils you," Kelsey said dryly. "Honestly, Mr. Thurston does love indulging your penchant for sapphires, doesn't he?"

"He does," I agreed. "And he knows I love the blue ones best. Oh, Kels, I miss him so. But think, he wants to escort me to all the December functions! All of them! I can attend nearly everything now-"

"Would that be proper?" Kelsey said doubtfully. "Mia, you won't be out for another three years yet."

I shrugged. "I know. But Greg's eighteen already. And I've been invited to everything, so it would be impolite to decline when I have no other plans."

"You never attended the Advent ball before," Kelsey pointed out. "Not even with Madame de Barbarac."

I felt a pain in my chest, but I said teasingly, "I know, why don't I ask Darrel and see what he thinks?" I suddenly remembered what I was doing that evening. "Oh hell's bells, Kelsey. I don't want to do this. I hate apologizing to people."

"Most people do," Kelsey murmered. "And you have less experience with it than most." Before I could ask what she meant by that last remark, there was another knock at the door, and Kelsey got up to answer it.

She returned moments later and said softly, "The cab is here, darling."

I made a face but got up, slipping my long grey wool coat over my clothes, adding a black scarf and gloves before walking out the door.

The ride over to the Curtis place felt nearly as long as it had that first night. And I was nearly as nervous as I had been then. I didn't like the idea of having to go in there and apologize- if there's one thing I hate, it's admitting I'm wrong.

I rang the bell with butterflies in my stomach, wondering if anyone would even hear it- the normal chaos could be heard going on inside the house. However, the door was flung open by Sodapop.

"Mia!" he exclaimed, kissing my cheek and pulling me inside. "It was getting late, I didn't think you were coming before your flight." He paused and glanced around, frowning. "But where's your luggage and your maid and your-" He stopped suddenly and a grin slowly spread over his face. "You're not leaving!"

"Not at the present time," I replied, very dignified, as I stepped into the living room. Two-Bit and Steve were watching television, and Ponyboy was playing poker with Johnny, but they all looked up when they saw me.

"You're still here!" Ponyboy cried, leaping up to greet me. Feeling rather strange and awkward, I reached out and squeezed his hand.

"Still here," I agreed. "There are things I wanted to ask about." I held up the large black bag I had brought with me. "From the box." Ponyboy nodded; clearly he knew all about it.

"You want to get in on the game, Mia?" Johnny asked shyly, gesturing to the cards in front of him.

Two-Bit grinned. "She sure knows how, from what I saw last night."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, but I smiled at Johnny and said, "Normally I'd say yes, but I need to speak with Darrel. Is he home, by any chance?"

"Darry!" Soda yelled without moving from his seat on the couch next to Steve.

"Thank you," I said dryly. Then my oldest brother appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, and I was so startled that it took my breath away.

We just stood there staring for a minute before Darrel said, raising one eyebrow, "I thought you'd left."

I lifted my chin slightly and replied, "No. But I do need to speak with you. Privately?"

Darrel nodded and motioned me into the kitchen, shutting the door behind us. He sat down at the table and gestured for me to do the same, which I did, twisting my hands nervously. He just sat there, waiting for me to begin.

"I'm going to talk for a few minutes, and I really need you to listen, all right?" I said softly. Darrel nodded, and I began, the words tumbling over each other in a rush, showing my nervousness.

"I'm sorry. I really am. I mean, drinking and all that was one thing. But regardless, I should not have spoken to you like that. I was just tired and sick and feeling very not myself. It's been a really emotional few days, and I'm not coping with it very well, and I didn't expect you to be so _angry._" To my dismay I felt tears rising in my eyes and I brushed at them impatiently, continuing, "I know you were right in what you were saying but no one's _ever_ been that angry with me before and it _scared_ me and I'm just really _sorry_!" I paused for breath, feeling upset at my lack of composure. I never lost control like this before strangers. Why was it happening now?

Darrell looked slightly taken aback by my torrent of words, but his eyes had softened. He leaned across the table to take one of my hands in his.

"You scared me too, kiddo," he said quietly. I looked up at him curiously and he went on. "Seeing you in that state, going to that party and getting drunk like that. I hated it. Because I know from spending time with you the past few days that that ain't you. You're more than that. And when I think about what goes on at those parties, what could have happened to you-"

I sighed and leaned back in my chair, feeling weary right down to my bones. "I know you worry, but I was fine. I got home in one piece, didn't I?"

"That is not the point!" Darry ran his hand through his dark brown hair, looking very frustrated. "You just shouldn't be behaving that way. I know you think you're invincible. When I was your age I did too. But it was stupid, Mia. Reckless and stupid. I was very disappointed that you, who I'd seen as a smart young lady these past few days, would choose to act that way!"

I lowered my eyes to the table, feeling very chastened as I whispered, "I know."

There were a few moments of silence as I regained my composure and Darrel continued to regard me with that searching look. I was beginning to have uncomfortable prickles of a feeling I hadn't had in a long time- guilt.

Even more strangely, I found myself wanting to climb into Darry's lap like a little girl and cry on his shoulder, let him tell me he forgave me and things would be all right... but I dismissed that thought as ridiculous. Maybe he was family in a way, but I was not ready to let my guard down completely yet. And I was not a child anymore. After all, I didn't need his approval really. Did I?

But I had messed up and he had called me on it, something I wasn't used to. Risa and I handled this sort of thing with a very handy don't ask, don't tell policy when I hit my teens. She understood I was going to live my own life, and she didn't want to either fight me on it or feel guilty for letting me get away with things. So I told her nearly everything, and if it was ever too much information she told me so. After awhile I learned what she did and did not want to hear about. And after she got sick I got too busy taking care of her to get into trouble anyway.

"Listen," Darry said suddenly, shaking me out of my reverie, "I have something else I want to talk to you about. Soda and Pony too. Hang on, I'll get them in here." I nodded, feeling very drained emotionally as he got up to head into the living room. But he paused first, leaned down, and kissed the top of my head, then strode through the doorway without a word.

A/N: Well, how was it? I know that it might seem like this story is coming along rather slowly, but I really prefer to separate major sequences, and if the chapters are this length I can update more often than if I were to make them longer.

Anyway, I hope you're all still enjoying this as much as I enjoy writing it. Please keep reviewing, as I need feedback to keep up my writing morale.

Have a splendid weekend, ladies and gentlemen!


	11. Starlight

Chapter Eleven

Soda and Ponyboy came striding into the kitchen, with Darry right behind them. I smiled shakily, trying to get myself under control again. This was scaring me a little, all this loose emotion rattling around inside me. Normally I'm a girl of iron-clad composure, my facial expressions never betraying whatever my actual feelings might be. Here things were all over the place. I dug my fingernails into my palms and silently counted ten, and was rewarded by the feeling of my calm mask settling back over my features. _There_.

"You okay now?" Ponyboy whispered to me as all three brother sat down at the table.

"Perfectly fine, thank you," I replied, squeezing his hand. I turned to Darry then and asked curiously, "Now what is this all about?"

"You didn't ask her yet?" Soda said, grinning, to Darry.

Darry shook his head and smiled a little. "Wanted you guys to be here." He looked at me then, and I felt apprehension rise as he said quietly, "Mia, we'd really like it if you came and stayed with us awhile."

I froze, unable to speak, or even move. Darry continued, "You have that long break from school now, right? Well, why don't you come stay here for that, and then maybe in the middle of December you can decide if you want to stay more permanently."

_Permanently?_ It was like the bottom had dropped out of my stomach. The three of them were all looking at me, waiting. I caught sight of Ponyboy's hopeful face and closed my eyes briefly.

"Mia?" Soda asked, looking concerned as he reached out and laid one hand on my arm. "You okay, honey? We didn't want to upset you or anything-"

I shook my head, trying to clear it at the same time. "No. No, I'm fine." I stood up abruptly. "Would you excuse me, please? I think I need a little fresh air." Darry nodded, looking at me strangely, and I turned and left the room, going through the living room and slipping onto the front porch.

The night was cool, with stars glittering like ice on the black velvet sky. I sat down on the front steps as I tilted my face up to the stars.

What were they _thinking_, asking me to do this? I couldn't possibly leave New York. My entire life was there. Greg was there. My friends, my school, my _life_. My wonderful fairy-tale life that the papers hailed as perfect. All my memories of Risa were there! This brought up all sorts of feelings: it wasn't even six months that I had lost her. How would she feel if I just traded our life and our family in for a new one?

And to leave all that—for this? This tiny house in a horrible neighborhood, these rough people and this life? The noise and sheer indignity of it?

But that wasn't all that this place was. I glanced through the screen door, which afforded a clear view of the living room. There was noise there, yes. Chaos, actually. And something else, a cozy close-knit feeling that touched some deeply-buried need in myself I hadn't even known existed.

I crept down to the lawn and lay out on the chilly grass. My eyes on the stars again, I wished for a different time—when I was younger and things weren't so complicated.

The squeak of the screen door's hinges brought me back to reality, although I didn't sit up. And as it turned out I didn't have to. Ponyboy crossed the lawn to lie down next to me on the grass.

"You like watching stars too, huh?" he said softly after awhile.

"Yes. It's something my mother and I used to do," I replied, startled at how natural this felt.

"Really?" Ponyboy turned his head to glance at me. "I've never done this with anyone before. No one really gets it, 'cept maybe Johnny."

"We didn't do this in New York. You can't see stars like this in the city. But in Egypt we stargazed all the time."

"Egypt?" Ponyboy exclaimed, sounding amazed.

I grinned a little. "Even back when I was younger, my mom had a few health problems, mainly with her lungs. Her doctors told her to get out of New York for the winter, so we also had a house in Cairo, where we spent January till about April every year. Gorgeous place, I still have it. There's this roof terrace, like most houses in Cairo, and we'd stretch out on a couch up there and watch the night sky till I fell asleep."

"That sounds incredible. Did you get to see mummies and stuff?"

"Sure," I replied, giggling. "Risa really liked Egyptology and all that. I think if she hadn't been born a socialite she would have been an archaeologist or something."

"Your mom sounds really cool," Ponyboy remarked.

"She was, yes. Very." I swallowed, the old familiar pain in my chest, but happy to be talking about her like this-- about the happy times, not the sad ones. "Hey, Ponyboy?"

"Yeah?" He propped himself up on one elbow to look at me.

I pushed my hair out of my eyes and said, very softly, "Do you think maybe you could tell me a little bit about your parents?"

Ponyboy looked surprise, but then smiled and lay back down next to me. It was a few moments before he spoke.

"Dad wasn't like anyone else I've ever met. Crazy and laughing all the time, kinda wild. Looked exactly like Darry though, real handsome. A lot of people thought they were brothers. Taught us all how to play football, taught Soda about cars. He was just a lot of fun. Always took care of the family, and did everything he could for Mom."

Ponyboy paused and cleared his throat. I knew how hard this must be for him, because my eyes were filling up too.

"Mom was…she was _Mom_. The most beautiful woman I've ever seen, kept the house pretty and raised us kids. She could make anyone smile. Even Dallas." Pony's head was right next to mine, and I could feel his tears dripping into my hair. He sat up without looking at me and whispered, "They both loved you a lot."

I sat up too, brushing the tears from my eyes as I kept them on the stars. Suddenly, and to my complete surprise, Ponyboy flung his arms around me, pressing his face into my shoulder. Feeling touched and awkward at the same time, I wrapped my arms around him and just held him. A surge of protectiveness hit me, and in that moment, for the first time, I felt like a sister.

"Shhh," I whispered, stroking his back. "It's all right. Everything's going to be all right." It was so nice to be _needed_ again. Risa had depended on me for so much support during her sickness, especially towards the end. I had taken care of her just like she had taken care of me my whole life. Then afterwards, there'd been no one. Just me in that huge apartment rattling around, empty day following empty day.

Eventually he pulled away and wiped his eyes, looking rather embarrassed. I just nodded and gave him a half-smile, to let him know I understood.

"So are you going to come live with us?" he asked, cocking his head. "Because we'd all really like that. And—and you look like you could use a family right now."

I giggled inside at his way of putting it, but instead replied, slowly, "I suppose I will. For my vacation, anyway."

Ponyboy grinned and, jumping up, extending one hand to pull me to my feet. I followed him inside, feeling unsettled and unsure of myself.

The normal turbulence was inside the living room. Soda and Steve had joined Johnny's poker game and were having a loud argument over who knew what. Two-Bit had the TV turned up really loud and Darry was reading the paper. But they all glanced up when Ponyboy walked in.

"You two okay?" Darry asked, his brow furrowed in concern.

"Yes," I blurted out. He nodded and went back to his paper, and I realized he'd misunderstood me.

"I mean, yes. As in, you know. Yes," I clarified, not knowing how else to phrase it. Darry and Soda both stared at me for a moment, then they got it.

"You're really gonna do it?" Soda said, a grin spreading over his face. "You're gonna stay with us?"

"For vacation anyway," I replied. He whooped and gave me a big hug, then picked me up and whirled me around before tossing me down on the couch. Darry hadn't said anything, but there was a look of quiet happiness on his face as he came over and kissed my forehead.

I was feeling scared and apprehensive at the thought of what was to come—but excited. Things were going to change for awhile. A lot.

But I could handle it. It wasn't like this was permanent. I'd stay a month, get to know these people, learn what I needed about my heritage and background, then say goodbye and get back to my life.

A/N: Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Mine was fabulous, very busy, which is why this update took a little longer than usual. Thanks go per usual to my amazing wonderful reviewers- you are magnificent, darlings!

Please keep the reviews coming, and have a splendid night!


	12. Cashmere

Misplaced Expectations, Chapter 12

Two days later, I was back home in New York, getting all packed up to move to Oklahoma for two months and filled with the now-familiar mix of trepidation and excitement. I was in such a good mood I was even happy to help Kelsey and Maude, my housekeeper, pack my trunks in preparation for shipping.

I had spent the past few days tying up loose ends, especially with Greg. He had taken me out for a lovely dinner at Le Cirque so we could talk, and we decided to keep seeing each other—and, much to my delight, he was going to fly to Tulsa after I'd been there awhile to meet my brothers and see my birthplace. I would miss him, but this was important to me, and he understood that.

I was in the middle of folding a stack of cashmere sweaters in tissue paper when Kelsey came into my dressing room with a rack of skirts.

"Hey, Kels," I said cheerfully. "Have those been pressed yet?"

"No, not yet." Kelsey paused and then glances into my open trunk. "Mia, remember our little talk about packing essentials, since your room there is likely to be quite small?"

"Sure," I replied absently as I folded.

"Then why are you taking three swimsuits?"

I giggled and flopped down on the dressing-room sofa. "Okay, maybe I need to pare it down a little." Hanging over the edge of the sofa with my head upside-down like a bat, I gave Kelsey a grin and said, "One swimsuit, but I do need fifteen skirts."

"Fine," Kelsey conceded. She picked up the iron and began to smooth out one of my skirts, saying, "You'd better get to bed, sweetheart, and get all rested for tomorrow morning."

"'Kay." I kissed Kelsey's cheek and slipped into my bedroom and climbed into bed, pulling on my eye mask and flicking out the lights.

Two hours later I rolled over and sat up, giving up trying to sleep. I just had too much on my mind. Wrapping myself in my thickest dressing gown and putting furry slippers on my feet, I stepped onto my balcony and sank into an armchair. New York City's glittering skyline spread before me, as well as the millions of stars dotting the midnight-blue sky. I wanted to watch the stars like I did with Risa.

_Risa._

And then I knew where I wanted to go.

Still in my dressing gown and slippers, not caring that it's three in the morning, I took the elevator downstairs and left my building attracting very odd looks from the concierge and doormen. Outside I hailed a taxi—I may be more used to a chauffer, but I'm a bred New Yorker, and people really shouldn't be so surprised that I can hail a cab. I'm an heiress, but not completely useless.

Ten minutes later, we arrive—my apartment on Forty-Second Street, the one I grew up in, the one I shared with Risa. I haven't been here since the week after the funeral. Taking a deep breath I entered the lobby, trying to let the memories come one at a time, not all at once.

I take the elevator to the twenty-third floor, which is our—my—apartment, the whole floor. It's spacious and beautiful. My mother had impeccable taste. But it feels ghostly. It's exactly as it was when I was here last, that is, exactly as it had been when I was growing up. I hadn't wanted to change it; I decorated my Madison Avenue place with all new stuff. And it feels slightly eerie here, but exactly right.

Wandering, I soak up the rooms of my childhood. Morning room, drawing room, parlor, the vast dining room, formal living room, the immense kitchen, library, maids' rooms—I'd forgotten how enormous this place was. That frightened me. What else had I forgotten?

My rooms, the nursery suite, were the same, but I didn't enter them. I wasn't ready for that yet.

But I did enter Risa's suite, where I really wanted to be. In wonderment I touched individual objects as if they were in a museum, relics from a distant era. But they were, after all. Relics from when a beautiful lady inhabited these now-cold rooms.

I walked into the dressing room and played with things on her dressing table, remembering a time when lipstick and pearls were foreign, impossibly glamorous objects. Her clothes hung in organized racks all round the room, and I searched till I found what I wanted, the floor-length cream cashmere cardigan Risa wore before she dressed for a night out, the one she wore so often when she sang me to sleep.

Wrapping myself in the cashmere, I made my way back to the bedroom and collapsed in her soft four-poster bed. I closed my eyes and breathed. Among the mustiness of the room was _her_ smell, her soap and cleanliness. And—I pressed my nose into her cashmere—her Chanel perfume. That smell in my nose was a homecoming.

I wept then, but just a little. Lying on my back on her bed, I studied the immense oil painting above the headboard, of Risa in formal evening dress and me, age eight, dressed to the nines as well. I remembered posing for that portrait—I'd gotten so bored that my nanny read stories to me while we were posing so I wouldn't fidget.

"Hi," I whispered to the painting, my eyes on my mother's warm smile. "How are you? I've been away a while, Risa. And guess what? I'm going to Tulsa tomorrow, to live with my brothers for vacation. Isn't that something?"

A sob choked my throat. "The thing is, I miss you, Mummy. But they need me, I think, and I kinda need them a little too. But I love you, and I'll make you proud, I promise."

I waited until I stopped crying, then I got up and unsteadily left the apartment. That was enough wallowing in the past for one night. I was going back to the Curtis house, and I was actually going to have fun, at least once I found again the part of me that knew how.

But I took the cashmere sweater with me, as a little bit of Risa to take to Oklahoma.

I took a cab back to Madison, and once upstairs I collapsed into bed. With Risa's sweater around me, I was finally sleepy—and smiling.

The next morning was one of the busiest I'd ever known. There seemed to be a thousand last-minute things to pack or do or remember. But finally I was at the airport, dressed in my traveling suit—a dark-rose wool skirt with its matching jacket and a white silk blouse—and the small valise I was taking on the plane on my arm. Now came the hard part.

Kelsey ran her hand through my dark curls and brushed at her eyes. "Now remember, Mia, you can call anytime, if you need anything. I'm only a short plane ride away. And I'll be right there at home when you return. And I packed gloves and a scarf in your valise."

I felt teary at this little speech—so like Kelsey to take care of me right up till I got on the plane. Dear Kelsey, my confidante and best friend…I threw my arms around her and sobbed. Feeling her arms around me and the kiss she pressed to my curls, I squeezed her tight and thought how much I'd miss her.

Stepping back from me, Kelsey pulled out her handkerchief out and mopped up my face before attending to hers. She smiled and took my hands.

"I'm going to miss you, sweetheart, but I am so happy for what you're doing," she whispered. I nodded and kissed her twice, once on each cheek.

"Thank you. For _everything_, Kelsey," I said quietly. We exchanged one more quick hug and then I turned around, waved, and boarded the plane.

I settled into my first-class seat and gratefully sipped the Mimosa brought to me by an attendant. Looking out the window, I smiled, and thought about Tulsa. For the first time in a long time, I felt at peace.

A/N: Oh wow, it's been awhile! Let's just say my second college semester was a lot more work than the first…freshman year is hectic! But anyway, I really want to pick this story up again, if people are interested in reading it. And how will I know if people are interested? Why, by the reviews, of course! I know this chapter is short, but I really want to know if people want to read before I write more. So have an amazing weekend, darlings!


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